The little girl sat in a chair across the room from her mother,
hugging her knees close to her chest - like a lover that would soon disappear.
She looked at her mothers face, searching for a glimpse of love that would give hope, but what she saw instead was her mothers eyes, and they were bleeding.
Expressing a look that she will never forget, her mother started screaming and crying, telling the little girl how much the little girl hated her mother. Broken by such a lie, the little girl started screaming "but Mommy, I LOVE you".
But her mommy didn't hear her, because her mommy's ears were bleeding. Broken, frustrated tears welled up in the little girls eyes as she gave up, and listened to her mommy scream "You do not love me! You do not love me!"
Suddenly, her daddy came in the room and stood there bold and angry, glaring at the little girl.
Then, her big-strong brother came in with fury in his eyes, and a hand that was itching to act. She squeezed her knees tighter, and watched as her brother approached her with a look in his eyes, that she had nightmares about in the days to come.
Before she knew it, he pulled his arm back, and smacked the little girl to the floor. Her brown hair flying out of its tie, and tumbling over her shoulders.
As she laid on the floor, she looked up through her tears and watched as the same hand came back for another strike.
when we're "love bleeding (our love is bleeding, like, its wrecked)", sometimes that hinders us from loving like we're supposed to. We have sight, but we can't see. Our own pain causes us to " love bleed", blinding us from seeing love clearly. Or in our ears, making us def. Or on our hands, controlling how we act.
But when we're "bleeding love", that's how Jesus loves. Its like, you can't keep it in you because you can't contain it.
(there IS a difference ;)
Do you Bleed Love? Or is your Love Bleeding?
ALL things, work together for GOOD, to those who love God
Romans 8:28
hugging her knees close to her chest - like a lover that would soon disappear.
She looked at her mothers face, searching for a glimpse of love that would give hope, but what she saw instead was her mothers eyes, and they were bleeding.
Expressing a look that she will never forget, her mother started screaming and crying, telling the little girl how much the little girl hated her mother. Broken by such a lie, the little girl started screaming "but Mommy, I LOVE you".
But her mommy didn't hear her, because her mommy's ears were bleeding. Broken, frustrated tears welled up in the little girls eyes as she gave up, and listened to her mommy scream "You do not love me! You do not love me!"
Suddenly, her daddy came in the room and stood there bold and angry, glaring at the little girl.
Then, her big-strong brother came in with fury in his eyes, and a hand that was itching to act. She squeezed her knees tighter, and watched as her brother approached her with a look in his eyes, that she had nightmares about in the days to come.
Before she knew it, he pulled his arm back, and smacked the little girl to the floor. Her brown hair flying out of its tie, and tumbling over her shoulders.
As she laid on the floor, she looked up through her tears and watched as the same hand came back for another strike.
when we're "love bleeding (our love is bleeding, like, its wrecked)", sometimes that hinders us from loving like we're supposed to. We have sight, but we can't see. Our own pain causes us to " love bleed", blinding us from seeing love clearly. Or in our ears, making us def. Or on our hands, controlling how we act.
But when we're "bleeding love", that's how Jesus loves. Its like, you can't keep it in you because you can't contain it.
(there IS a difference ;)
Do you Bleed Love? Or is your Love Bleeding?
ALL things, work together for GOOD, to those who love God
Romans 8:28
I don't want to hear that you suck at expressing yourself anymore. This is a masterpiece!!
ReplyDeleteBut I know it's much more than striking words. It's your story. Your painful, real life. The details are yours. The emotions are yours. The little girl is you.
Even so, you wrote in such a way that someone else who is hurting would be able to find themselves in it. That's a gift you are giving back to humanity. Lifting up the broken. Teaching us all lessons of love.
He gives beauty for ashes.
Amazing. Gut wrenching. Real. I LOVE the antithesis, it is perfect and true to the core.
ReplyDeleteThis is what writing is about. I agree, you definitely can't say you suck at expressing yourself or writing.
bleeding love only happens when you've been cut open. thats what happened to jesus. and you. if you get cut, blood will come out. if love
ReplyDeleteIS your blood, love comes out. you can't help it. i remember talking to you about this one time.
i'm confident that "the little girl's" love for the mommy and daddy and big brother is greater than any hurt they caused. "the little girl" i know has jesus' love, which can forgive ANYTHING. and thats the biggest miracle of all.
this pain, is so SO much more then any little girl should have to hold on her shoulders. that ache in your heart. the blood stained struggle you've fought through. the screams and tears. all of it...is so much more then you should have experienced. my baby. i'm so sorry.
ReplyDeletei don't have the answer.
& i refuse to give you a cliche for [YOUR] broken heart.
but know this. *I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO!*. i might let you down. i might hurt you. i might be a jerk. i might fail. but i promise you, i will never ever let you go bekah sue.
i love you!
Hiiii Bexy. :) Got a post for you to read, of someone else's.
ReplyDeletehttp://thecolorofwonderful.blogspot.com/2009/02/social-butterfly-or-hermit-crab.html#comment-form
Bekah, I love you. Reading this makes my heart hurt...like it wants to die to rid you of your pain. But it can't. I love you. Let me know if you want a phone call, cuz I would be all over that. I love you. I miss you. I'm praying for you. Oh, and I love you like heck all gets out.
ReplyDelete